In Part 2 of this multi-part discussion of guns, the focus
was on the fantasy component of hand gun ownership and concealed carry: People envision using their guns -- and
rationalize the keeping of guns -- to defend themselves and their loved ones in
circumstances that almost never occur in real life. The cost of the widespread
nurturing of this fantasy is injuries and deaths by gunshot – many thousands a
year -- that are largely unintended. So
widespread gun ownership – an “armed citizenry” – instead of deterring
criminals as its proponents argue will be the result, has the real-world effect
of increasing exponentially the number of opportunities for tragic gun-related
accidents.
Another corner of gun fantasyland altogether – one that
makes a significant contribution to the culture of gun worship and the
proliferation of guns in America -- is typified by the reaction from a tiny but
vocal minority to something called Operation Jade Helm. Jade Helm was a thing that came and went
this past summer without most Americans being aware of its existence let alone
bringing about the gun-confiscation and martial law apocalypse that wing-nuts
in Texas and elsewhere had said was its hidden purpose. In fact, Jade Helm was the name of a
seven-state Army command and control mission – an otherwise obscure military
training exercise – that right wing conspiracy theorists said was part of a
plan to impose martial law and “population control.” Others said it was a plan
on the part of the federal government to “invade Texas.” There was some
stockpiling of guns and ammunition, at least one quasi-militia was formed to
keep track of Jade Helm troop movements, and, incredibly (and shamelessly) the
governor of Texas, Greg Abbott, ordered the state’s national guard to keep an
eye on things – to make sure that the U.S. Army wasn’t, you know, invading
Texas. Also promising to look into the matter, thereby giving some patina of
credibility to the whole ridiculous theory, were members in good standing of
the very government supposedly employing Jade Helm to ruin our lives, including
U.S. Rep. Louis Gohmert (R-Texas) and Senators Ted Cruz and Rand Paul. A
particularly interesting and remarkably delusional (even in this world, where
delusion is the stock in trade) component of the theory was that closed Wal
Mart stores were to be used as FEMA detention centers, or as places for the
military to stockpile supplies for Chinese troops who would be arriving to
disarm Americans.
For this corner of fantasyland, the one whose inhabitants
believe the government plans to take away their guns, impose martial law, and
take down the democracy, and that they are going to heroically fend it off with
their six guns, I would offer this from turn-of-the-century commentator and
contrarian H.L. Mencken: “Communism,
like all religions, consists mainly of prophesy.” Replace “communism” with “gun-government conspiracy” and you
pretty much have it. The government
never actually does this thing. It is
always going to do it. Thus the
great takeover is repeatedly and forever pushed into next week, next year, or
some dystopian future. Nor do they
worry too much about the logistics of such a massive nationwide
undertaking. Would the U.S. Army
participate in this? The FBI? Local police? Or is there a secret (but necessarily gigantic) gun-confiscation
force (possibly being housed and trained in the basements of closed-down
Walmarts) that is poised to start knocking down doors, confiscating guns, and
imprisoning citizens – quite an undertaking in that it would require billions
of dollars, many years, and tens of thousands of people willing to participate
in such a thing and able to keep quiet
about it until launch day. Gun conspiracy and perpetual danger religions, like
all religions, consist mainly of prophesy.
Thus the true believers never have to be held accountable for the
up-in-smoke fate of their nonsensical predictions.
For a complete rundown of the most current right-wing
conspiracy theories, all of which are related in one way or another to the
perceived need for gun ownership, see “Margins to the Mainstream,” an article
in the Southern Poverty Law Center’s publication “Intelligence Report.” It covers in detail Jade Helm and other
conspiracy magnets such as Common Core, Agenda 21, the North American Union,
Shariah Law, FEMA, money manipulators, secret Muslim training camps, and the
homosexual agenda.
Another astonishing idea, equally loony but far more
reprehensible, is one in which armchair tough guys blame the victims of mad
dogs with guns for their own injuries and deaths. They should have defended themselves – rushed the shooter and
taken him down. Each should have been
willing to sacrifice his or her own life for the sake of the rest, as they, the
courageous purveyors of this theory, assure us they would have done. All people
have to do is be willing to take one for the team and throw themselves at the
muzzle of a blazing assault rifle. By
gad, that’ll put a stop to this mass shooting nonsense; there’s no reason to
keep guns out of the hands of crazed shooters by limiting their
availability. Republican presidential
candidate Ben Carson is leading this particular confederacy of dunces.
Another idea we’ve seen lately from the gun-obsessed is one
that could be dismissed as simply cockamamie were it not so objectionable: that
German Jews could have and would have prevented the holocaust had they not been
prevented by the government from owning guns.
Or, to put it another way, had there been no gun restrictions, the
Jewish people of Germany and occupied Europe, a significant percentage of whom
were women, children, and the elderly, all would have had pistols and rifles
and would have used those pistols and rifles to do what various countries’
armies couldn’t do and what it took the U.S. and the Allies many years to do –
thwart the vast war (and “final solution”) machinery of the Third Reich. The sheer reprehensibility of this
appallingly stupid idea stems not just from its blame-the-victim overtones and
its blind disregard for the facts, but also from its attempted use of the wanton
murders of six million people and the devastation of the survivors and their
progeny to advance a political agenda and pet cause.
Of note: People who have advanced this theory have cited the
Warsaw Ghetto Uprising of 1943 as evidence of what can happen when would-be
victims get their hands on guns. What
did happen: About two-dozen Nazis were killed.
All who participated in the uprising – some 750 people – were killed by
the Nazis and some 50,000 people were sent to concentration camps. As incredibly brave and courageous as those
who rose up were, their procurement and possession of guns did not do what latter-day gun enthusiasts apparently
believe it did, and makes no case for private gun ownership as a defense
against predatory government forces. The uprising was, in relatively short order and mercilessly, crushed. Guns or no guns,
it never had a chance.
There’s a more detailed discussion of the
“if-Europe’s-Jews-had-guns” theory in this Huffington Post article…
Earth to gummint conspiracy theorists: The United States government is not planning
to confiscate people’s guns. There is
no plan afoot to declare martial law or to dismantle our democracy or to become
part of a world government or to poison our children’s minds with socialist
propaganda in the public schools. There
are no secret Muslim training camps or FEMA-sponsored concentration camps, and
Muslims are not trying to overthrow the government and impose Shariah law. There is no need for you to prepare to take
pot shots from your kitchen window at forces trying to make these things
happen. Beat your guns into plowshares
and find employment that makes you happier.
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